


The Sleeper Agent

by ElenaCee



Series: The Consultant [5]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Anal Sex, Augment biology, Bottom!Khan, Canon-Typical Violence, Cock Rings, Drama, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Bondage, M/M, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Plot, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-03
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-10 08:45:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3284192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElenaCee/pseuds/ElenaCee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just when they thought that they could finally focus on the nice things in life, it turns out that Section 31 isn't finished with Khan yet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

In an otherwise nearly dark room somewhere aboard the Enterprise, the intent face of a young man was dimly lit by the dull glow of a PADD in front of him. He was light-skinned, blond, with no very remarkable features of face or body - the typical guy next door. His position aboard was similarly unremarkable - Technician Second Class. He had no close friends, only casual acquaintances. Those who knew him would only describe him as 'nice' and maybe 'a bit boring'.

This was essential. It was important that Technician Second Class Peter Jones not be on anyone's radar until he had completed his task. Too much might otherwise come to light - such as the fact that his real name was Ferdinand Yost, and that he was serving another master.

The PADD he was working on was a quite remarkable piece of technology. It was heavily shielded and its incoming and outgoing transmissions heavily encrypted. Again, this was essential. Anyone getting wind of what he had on there could have put him in a very difficult situation.

This was what he was currently writing:

_Things that do not kill an Augment:_   
_Suffocation (see file AO239X)_   
_All known poisons (see file DW934C)_   
_Severe flesh wounds or broken bones (see files GE930L and OJ872R)_   
_Severe loss of blood (see file ZT008D)_   
_Loss of limb (see file DW934C)_   
_Hypothermia up to and including being frozen solid (see file AO239X)_   
_Dying (see files AO239X, GE930L, OJ872R, and ZT008D)_

He sat back, thinking that over. Then he added:

_N.B.: Getting injured in battle does not slow them down; it only makes them furious, and thus even more dangerous. They function too well even badly wounded and acting purely on instinct for open battle to be a feasible option. The very first attack must kill, else you get owned. However, see above._

He bit his lip. Good thing that he would not have to enter into a direct confrontation, then. Thanks to some judicious security footage hacking, he had recently been made aware of another option. No, the plan was to first weaken the target until he was no longer dangerous, then end him in a coup-de-grâce, one that would preferably not be traced back to his killer. Simple. Elegant.

And, thanks to Doctor McCoy and his recent drug test, it was not like Ferdinand Yost wasn't prepared. Smiling, he looked at the hypospray on his desk. The cylinder containing its load was marked, barely visible, with crossed-out hand-written letters spelling "Khan-Ex".

Sometimes, fortune favors the bold, or at least the sneaky. Doctor McCoy would forever rue the day he hadn't destroyed his experimental drug himself.

 

* * *

 

"Not yet, not yet," Jim Kirk said soothingly, running his hands up and down the sculpted chest of the man lying stretched out next to him. "Hold on just a bit longer."

Khan's reply was a deep growl that, despite its non-verbal nature, nevertheless made his impatience perfectly clear. Just in case it wasn't, he raised his hips, shoving his impressive erection near Jim's face. However, he hadn't snarled at Jim yet, so Jim figured they were still fine.

It had been a steep learning curve for the Augment. He obviously wasn't used to delayed gratification - not surprising for one so used to just taking what he wanted, when he wanted it. Jim, however, loved being kinky in bed, and he had figured that they might as well try something new as long as they took things slow - pun very definitely intended.

Jim was aware that, for some mysterious reason to do with Augment biology, Khan found it hard to go slow, let alone stop, once he had committed himself to the act of sex. In fact, Jim's mind had been circling around this little fact ever since he had learned it. _I want to make him beg for it._ Just the thought of having so much power over this powerful man usually was enough to make him hard, and tonight, with the ship between missions and no emergencies disrupting their routine, the opportunity had finally arrived.

"Soon, tiger," he soothed, stroking the shivering skin of chest and thighs while carefully staying away from the leaking cock that looked like it would explode as soon as Jim blew on it. The sight was heady and thoroughly arousing, and Jim was glad he was wearing a cock ring that would prevent him from coming untouched. Another fact of Augment biology, and one nobody had warned him about: whenever Khan climaxed, so did Jim. He didn't know why that was, but he guessed it had to do with pheromones and synchronized orgasms during heterosexual copulations, because of _course_ Augments would even be better at procreation.

Whatever the reason, it usually meant that their sex sessions never lasted long, unless Jim took precautions, and the cock ring had been available. Long story.

This was the longest Khan had allowed Jim to delay his orgasm yet. From the sounds the Augment was beginning to make, however, he had taken all he could for now and was close to breaking.

Jim loved him like this - stretched out, hands gripping the headboard, holding himself motionless by sheer force of will, face contorted into a mask of agonized pleasure, suspended on the very edge of release from which he could only move in one direction. Once he was aroused, Jim had learned, orgasm was inevitable, go there directly, do not pass go. Not even moving back from the edge, becoming any less desperate for release, seemed to be possible for him when he was in this state.

Carefully, Jim ran his hand along the trembling flank and the outside of one thigh, then over the knee and back towards the place where both thighs met, and towards the twitching, leaking cock and drawn-up balls but stopping just before reaching them.

Khan wrenched his eyes open - pupils blown so wide that his normally pale eyes looked pitch black - and fastened his gaze on Jim's in a wordless plea.

_C'mon,_ Jim prompted him silently. _Say it. I know it's hard for you. You've probably never begged for anything in your life, not for something like this. This isn't about important stuff like the lives of your family, this is about your own pleasure. But you must be so desperate by now. I can't even imagine what it must be like, but it sure looks excrutiating. I'll let you come if you beg. Please. I need to hear you beg._

Khan opened his mouth, and Jim held his breath, but all that emerged was a groan.

"Want me to touch you there?" Jim asked, deciding to be a little more obvious. His own cock was throbbing fiercely, demanding attention, urging him to get on with it.

"What. Do. You. Think?" Khan forced out, barely able to form the words, his voice almost unrecognizable.

It wasn't exactly what Jim had wanted to hear, but the undertone of desperation still caused such a sharp pang of pleasure in his own body that he was inclined to accept it - for this round. "All you had to do was ask," he said. Then he ran his finger along the underside of the heavily leaking cock towards the head before gripping the swollen, steel-hard organ and giving it a good jerk.

It was enough. The Augment's orgasm, as always, was spectacular. So was his shout of release and the expression of bliss on his face, and the answering spasm in Jim's cock that wanted to follow along but couldn't. Caught in the paroxysm of climax, Khan let go of the headboard, convulsing, and Jim barely managed to move out of the way of the thrashing limbs.

Then it was over, and Khan lay on his side, making deep humming sounds, eyes closed. Cock still hard, of course. Once was never enough for him.

Jim moved back within range, and was immediately enveloped in arms and legs, Khan giving another happy hum as he held Jim close and began to move his hips against him lazily.

"You held out for a really long time," Jim commented, gladly letting himself be cuddled by his unexpected but very welcome augmented cuddler.

"Hmmm."

"How did it feel? Did it feel good? I won't do that again if you didn't like it. Did you like it?" Jim was aware he was sounding just a little bit nervous, but Bones had said something about possible damage if orgasm was delayed for too long...

"Hmmm," Khan said unhelpfully, nuzzling Jim's neck, still moving slowly. Just when Jim had given up on receiving a meaningful reply, the Augment added, "Want you to touch me inside." He reached between their bodies and grabbed Jim's rock-hard cock. "With this."

Jim groaned. "Say 'please'," he said, impulsively, when he could speak again.

Khan drew his head back to peer at Jim out of eyes hazy with pleasure. "What did you say?" There was a definite undertone of steel underneath the haziness.

Jim realized he was playing with fire, and as always, it made him reckless. "Say 'please' if you want me to do that," he repeated.

By way of answering, Khan squeezed Jim's organ he was still holding, dragging the tips of his fingers along the underside and underneath the cock head, causing such an upsurge of pleasure and need that Jim groaned aloud. If it weren't for the cock ring, he would have come then and there.

"Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck," he cursed, breathless, while the pleasure went on and on.

"Now cease this nonsense and touch me," Khan said, imperiously, when Jim had stopped twitching.

_That was a bit too soon for that sort of thing_ , obviously, Jim realized. But a pleasure postponed wasn't a pleasure abandoned. "Yes, my prince," he said, grinning. "But only if you let me bind you."

Khan threw him a look, which Jim answered by raising his eyebrows. Their last experiment with the voice-deactivated restraints hadn't been a complete disaster, and Jim had had a compelling argument for trying in the first place - taking the Augment's strength out of the equation made things infinitely safer for Jim. So Khan, whose top priority was Jim's safety, had gone along with it for Jim's sake.

Putting sex into the mix apparently made it possible for Khan to overcome the rage being restrained normally caused in him, but still, Jim had felt humbled to be shown this amount of trust. Of course, he had made sure Khan was aware that he could release the restraints himself whenever he wanted to. All in all, that experiment had been an eye-opener for both of them, and Jim counted it as a success, or he wouldn't have suggested doing it again now.

"Very well," Khan said readily, to Jim's surprise.

Jim certainly didn't need any more encouragement. Fishing the restraints out of his bedside drawer with alacrity, he clicked them closed around Khan's wrists and ankles, watching the long-fingered hands open and close reflexively just like they had the first time they did this.

A bit of shuffling around of limbs, and they were in position, Khan on his back, arms raised above his head, legs splayed, and Jim on top of him, cock ring still in place. He was going to need it for what he had planned.

"Power on," Khan finally said, activating the anti-gravity restraints and locking them in position.

By now, Jim was so turned on that he could feel himself getting sloppy with the preparation. Fortunately, Khan was equally turned on and didn't exactly mind a little pain, pulling on the restraints for what looked like the hell of it and growling encouragement with a definite undertone of 'get on with it'.

So Jim got on with it. As always, being buried inside that tight heat was a revelation and intensely arousing all by itself, never mind the need that had already built up. He moved, letting the rut take him, his arms around the Augment's neck, fingers buried in his hair, holding him as he fucked him, driving into the slick tightness again and again.

Khan vocally urged him on, moving his hips as far as he was able, seeking his own pleasure, and it didn't take long for him to reach his second orgasm.

Jim practically saw stars as the cock ring again didn't let him follow. _Whose bright idea was that again? Oh yeah._

Before Khan could come down from his high and complain that he couldn't move in for cuddling, Jim started moving again. At this point, he didn't have much of a choice. His entire being had condensed to a pinpoint of pure need that wanted release and couldn't get it.

Driven by that, he managed to make Khan come twice more before Jim really couldn't stand it anymore and released the ring, triggering the most intense orgasm he'd ever had in his life, and that included that one time with the two pink-skinned ladies that had almost cost him his front teeth (long story).

They would have brought security down to Jim's quarters by now with their combined yells if it weren't for the sound proofing. Khan was trembling and moaning incoherently, completely incapable of forming the words required to release the restraints, so Jim did it for him, and they clung to each other, waiting for heart beats and breathing to slow and the world to make sense again.

Khan was making those adorable purring sounds that Jim would never call adorable (or purring sounds) in the Augment's hearing while Jim was grinning to himself stupidly, randomly running his hands over perfect skin and conveniently causing more humming sounds.

"I think..." Khan finally said, "that you may have discovered a way to kill me that I'm not made to resist."

Jim chuckled. "Don't worry. I won't tell anyone. Also, I don't think it'll come up often in combat situations."

A snort. "True." The Augment turned them both over in a move Jim was familiar enough with by now to assist with a practiced move of his own, then settled against Jim with a contented sigh.

Jim noticed that Khan was still wearing the restraints, which was a big step from last time, when he had thrown them away as soon as he was released. _He really trusts me. Really, really trusts me._

To distract himself from the sudden heat welling up at the back of his eyes, Jim took hold of one perfectly sculpted forearm and clicked off the cuff. Immediately, Khan held his other arm in Jim's face, and Jim was happy to oblige. _I'm so proud of you, Khan Noonien Singh. You've come so far. My brave, brave tiger._

The restraints disposed of, they lay quietly for a while. Jim's thoughts had happily drifted off to what he was going to do once he was up for an encore, when Khan's voice broke the silence.

"What is it like to be aware that you can trace your ancestry back to unicellular beings?"

It took Jim a moment to shift his brain into gear. "I don't usually think about stuff like that, actually."

Strong arms hugged him close. "I do. I often find myself grateful for the particular line of genetic heritage that resulted in you."

Jim blinked. "That's..." _the nicest compliment I've ever been paid_ , he wanted to say, but Khan wasn't finished with his line of thought.

"That unbroken line, one generation to the next, with slight variations of genetics over time formed by requirements and variability, that turned a single cell into a multicellular being, more and more specialized, developing a sense of smell and eyes and extremities and a spine and finally lungs and ears and bones, until it culminated in putting you in my path."

_Trying to shoot you out of the sky, if I remember correctly_ , Jim thought but didn't say out loud.

"While I am outside all of that. You are literally related to all life forms on earth, and soon, with humanity colonizing other planets and cross-breeding and exporting plants and animals and importing them from other planets, with every carbon-based life form in the known galaxy. An integral part of nature. I am not. I'm an artificially created life form. I don't belong in the natural order of things."

Jim thought he was beginning to know what Khan was leading up to. "That doesn't matter."

"Doesn't it?" Khan shifted so he was able to look at Jim, the expression in his eyes somber. "Genetic engineering of human beings was outlawed shortly after the Eugenics War. Technically, I am illegal. I shouldn't exist. I wouldn't exist at all if not for scientific intervention. I am unnatural. A modern version of Frankenstein's monster."

"Stop it, Noonien. It doesn't matter how or why you exist, and you're certainly not a monster."

"A year ago, you wouldn't have said that."

"Only because I didn't know better. You have so much to offer precisely because you were made to be what you are." _I've known a monster, and you're nothing like him._

"What I'm saying is, when I die, life in the universe will not be affected by the loss of my genes, because my genes did not naturally derive from the universe in the first place."

"Well, I would certainly be affected, idiot. If this is some form of Augment depression then I'm authorized by the authority of... myself to tell you to cut it out." He shifted closer so he could stroke the aristocratic brow. "You are loved, and admired, and envied, and yes, probably hated a little bit for being so fucking perfect, and you know all that, and I have no idea what brought this on."

Khan closed his eyes at the caress, smiling slightly. "Nothing brought this on. Just a thought that crossed my mind. An attempt at post-coital philosophy." He opened his eyes and directed his blue-green gaze at Jim. "Don't worry. I didn't ask to be made, but now that I exist, I won't go gently into that good night, either. If I truly had any tendency towards depression, as you put it, I'd have died long before now."

Relieved, Jim gladly conceded that point. "Good to know."

"Hmm." His point made, Khan visibly put the whole thing out of his head. Pulling Jim close again, he buried his face in the crook between Jim's neck and shoulder. And then Jim could feel him relaxing, letting go, as if it were no big deal to relinquish his vigilance and trust Jim to keep him safe, when only a few weeks ago it still had been.

Jim held him, feeling him go to sleep in his arms only moments later. _We've come so far._

 

* * *

 

"Spock's got this, Jim," Leonard McCoy stated with authority. "All that logic, plus the ability to calculate probabilities to the seventh decimal? How is this even a question?"

Jim, of course, did not share this opinion, but then again, he was the one in love with Khan, so Leonard supposed he should cut him some slack for being biased. "Chess is a game of strategy, Bones," Captain Besotted said earnestly. "Noonien's practically been designed to be the chess grand master. 'Sides, you don't need statistics when leading armies into battle."

They were in the rec room with the tri-D-chess in one corner, while elsewhere in the room, crew members were milling about and other off-duty things were happening. Leonard was nursing a coffee - his shift was still ahead of him - and Jim was chilling with a regulation-compliant long drink as they were both watching the chess players.

"Maybe so," Leonard conceded that point, "but this is not normal chess. Noonien's never led armies into space battles, and as far as we know, he hasn't played three dee all that often. Spock's won tournaments. He grew up with it. No contest, Jim-boy."

"He did pretty well all alone on the Vengeance."

"Don't remind me."

"Well, if your point is that he's not used to thinking in three dimensions, then that's my rebuttal. Lenny-boy."

"Urgh."

All the while, the combatants were making their moves, each taking little time to think. Leonard supposed that this was because Vulcans simply thought faster than humans, and who knew with Augments?

"At this rate, this is going to be over quick," he commented. "Seems like Noonien doesn't even think about what he's doing, and is just moving his pieces at random. Spock is so going to wipe the floor with him."

"It's instinctive for him. Like in battle. He doesn't think, he acts. He doesn't aim, he points and fires. He said it himself, thinking is useless when you're in a fight. Plotting out things in advance takes too long. You react, or you get hit while you're still thinking about hitting the other guy."

"But this isn't a battle, this is chess. He has all the time in the world with chess. Which he really should use, especially playing against Spock."

"He doesn't have to," Jim stated serenely with that besotted smile Leonard was tempted to get a picture of just to have some teasing material for future emergencies.

"Oh, and another thing," Leonard said. "Spock's been in Noonien's mind. He knows how he thinks. Your boyfriend's ass is grass."

"Knowing how he thinks won't help him, Bones. You know how Spock thinks, and you still can't beat him at chess."

"True, but I'm not a Vulcan."

"Or an Augment."

Leonard shook his head in fond exasperation. "This is adorable, but you're going to see that I'm right."

Jim smiled. "Even if Noonien loses this game - which I doubt he will -, he's already won another battle today."

That made Leonard raise his eyebrows. "Oh?"

"Yeah. Look." Jim nodded his head at what looked like the rec room in general.

Frowning in confusion, Leonard looked, but only saw harmless off-duty things, and certainly no battles. People playing various games, sitting together talking, sitting around a viewing screen watching something or other. "What do you mean?"

"Remember the last time we were in here? How he tensed each time somebody came near him, or the doors opened, or whenever there was a sudden loud noise? Now look at him. He's not looked up from the board once, not even when Lieutenant Galway walked past him just now."

Leonard looked back towards the board and just watched for a while, and, yeah, Jim was right. The man focused on the game before him, smiling slightly, relaxed, and obviously enjoying himself, was a far cry from the haunted fugitive they had taken aboard a few months ago.

Jim had obviously watched him realize it. "I'm so proud of him, Bones. Do you know what this means for him? Finally letting go of all the distrust? It means he's come home. We're his family now, and you can trust your family."

Well, that was a little too saccharine for established cynic Leonard McCoy. "Except for Aunt Trudy. Every family's got an Aunt Trudy."

"We don't. And if we do, I'll transfer her ass right off this ship."

 

* * *

 

Ferdinand Yost watched the Augment leave the rec room alone. Recognizing his chance, he waited a moment longer, then rose from his seat and followed, making sure his departure remained unnoticed.

As a technician, it was not usual for him to be carrying a small bag on his belt even off-duty. He had it with him now, and in it, he was currently concealing two hypo sprays, both marked innocuously but containing quite dangerous substances. It meant that he was prepared and ready to make his move at any time.

The time was now.

With the computer's help, Yost found that the Augment was making for his quarters. Carefully staying out of sight, Yost trailed him there and waited next to the closed door. From a conversation he had overheard, he knew that the Augment was only in there briefly.

Timing would be crucial. He knew from his study of the security footage that the knock-out drug took about forty-five seconds to take effect, during which time he would have to stay out of range. He did have the element of surprise, but that was the only advantage he had. The Augment was faster, stronger, more ruthless, more cunning, more experienced. Altogether too dangerous to confront directly.

The door opened.

The Augment stepped out, past Yost, who stood flattened against the wall next to the door, hypo spray in hand.

Yost made his move before he was noticed. The hypo spray hissed against the Augment's neck.

The Augment whirled, eyes wide, then slitted with anger, but before Yost could move out of range as per the plan, he was grabbed and thrown against the door, which opened to let him tumble inside, the Augment following. The door closed, locking him in a very small room with a very dangerous Augment.

Or at least, dangerous for forty-five seconds. Which was more than enough time for Yost to get killed.

"Who are you?" the Augment said, standing over Yost with the calm confidence of one who knows he is superior. "What is your plan?"

"Not going to tell you," Yost said. Time. He needed to stall for time.

The Augment bent down, grabbed him by the neck of his shirt, and threw him across the room and onto the bed. But instead of following through, he then stood, blinking. "What have you injected me with?"

"Not going to tell you that, either," Yost said, feeling a glimmer of hope. Was he feeling the effect already?

That hope evaporated quickly when the Augment moved in close to take Yost into a one-armed stranglehold before he could even think of defending himself. "Then I'll make sure you'll tell someone else," the Augment hissed.

A punch, incredible pain exploding in his left thigh. Before Yost could draw breath to scream, another punch to his right thigh followed, and now he did scream.

The Augment let go of him and moved away. "I've broken both your legs to keep you from running off and hiding," he said, leaning against a wall, now breathing heavily. "Computer, lock door. Voice override Captain Kirk, Commander Spock, and Doctor McCoy only."

"Acknowledged."

Yost knew he needed to stay conscious to complete this, and it was now looking as if the Augment was being affected by the knock-out drug at last. No longer a danger. It looked like Yost would get to live a little while longer.

"Computer, contact Captain Kirk. Tell him to -...." A gasp "... Come to my quarters... immediately."

And then, Yost had the immense pleasure and relief of watching the Augment collapse.

The captain would arrive soon, but there was still time to finish the job. Dragging himself forward with both hands, trembling and sweating with shock, Yost produced the second hypo.

Disconcertingly, the Augment's eyes were open and tracking him, but Yost didn't have a choice. He had to take the risk and move in close.

He dragged himself across the last stretch of floor separating him from the Augment, who made no move to prevent him, just staring at him wide-eyed, now obviously completely under the influence of the knock-out drug. Triumphantly, Yost jabbed him with the second hypo.

"Admiral Marcus sends his regards, you son of a bitch."


	2. Chapter 2

After receiving Khan's call, Jim only delayed long enough to call for security before making his way down as fast as he could. There had been no details in the call, but the fact that it had been computer-relayed was enough to put Jim in full alert mode. Bones, fortunately, had been in the room with him, so he could tag along right away. 

The door to Khan's quarters was locked when they arrived, but Jim's override worked. Inside, they found a red-shirted technician half unconscious with what looked to Jim's not very medically minded eyes like shock, and Khan, out cold but apparently uninjured. 

Bones was with Khan in an instant, scanner whirring, while Jim focused on the technician, with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. 

"What happened, Ensign? What are you doing in here?" 

"Not... going to tell you," the man forced out, "Sir." 

The feeling coalesced to a certainty. "You did this." It was not a question. 

"I'm not telling you anything." 

Jim could see that for himself. Dismissing the man for now, he rose and turned. "Bones?" 

McCoy looked up from where he was kneeling next to Khan, who lay unmoving and unresponsive. "He's unconscious, barely breathing. His system seems to be slowing down. I've given him adrenaline, which is doing something, but it's not enough. Excuse me." He tapped his comm. "McCoy to transporter room. Intra-ship beaming, two persons, these coordinates, to sickbay, now! Tell you more later, Jim." 

As the transporter effect took Bones and Khan away, Jim felt himself being seized by a dark, dangerous feeling that was somewhere beyond rage. "Security, take this man out of my sight before I do something to him that I probably shouldn't." 

The technician was grinning up at Jim. "Don't bother, Captain. My task is completed. Just my luck that the Augment should end up on the ship I was deployed to. But all loose ends are tied up now. He's going to die. The last one." 

A red haze seemed to descend before Jim's eyes, and all of a sudden, he thought he could empathize with Khan's need to give in to savage impulses from time to time. Bending down, he grabbed the man by his shirt and lifted him half off the floor. "What. Have. You. Done. To. Him?" 

The man was still grinning, even though his face was pale and covered by a thin sheen of sweat. "I killed him. He's as good as dead. For good this time. Have fun finding out how I did it, Captain. And have fun finding out whether I'm alone, because I'm out of here." 

Before Jim could stop him, the technician twisted the signet ring on his finger, shuddered, and stilled.

 

* * *

 

_Captain's personal log, stardate 2260.104._

_Ensign Peter Jones - that's probably not his real name - killed himself by injecting himself with a toxin concealed in his Academy class ring, together with a needle. Just the kind of thing a Section 31 agent would own. Ship's records show he's been aboard from day one. A sleeper agent. I wonder how many of them are out there, on other ships, or even on the Enterprise? Khan will have to screen my crew, every last one of them, when he's back on his feet._

_And he's going to get back on his feet, dammit._

_Apparently, Jones somehow got his hands on the discarded drug Bones devised a while ago. I knew that this shit would come back to bite us in the ass eventually. Bones says Jones also used a toxin on Khan, the same one he used to kill himself. Says it's now touch and go. With the knock-out drug still in him affecting his healing, If he dies now, he won't come back._

_Bones has relieved me of duty; I'm making this entry from sickbay. It's that important that I'm here now, with Khan._

 

* * *

 

"Stay with me," Jim pleaded softly. 

He was lying on a med bed next to Khan, one arm threaded under and around his neck to ground him, the other gently touching the side of his face. From this close, he could feel the fever raging in the Augment's body, could hear every ragged breath. Each breath seemed to be more labored than the one before it. Jim could practically feel him weakening. 

Khan's eyes were closed; he was deeply unconscious. There was nothing to make contact with, nothing to appeal to. Still, Jim hoped that somewhere inside Khan could hear him, was aware that there was someone with him, that he wasn't left to fight this alone. 

He couldn't help but remember Khan saying he didn't feel like he belonged, like he wasn't a part of nature. Jim remembered how he had worried that this might make a crucial difference in some nebulous future when sheer will to live would tip the scale. Little had he known that it would come up so soon. 

"You are a part of this family, Noonien. I've fought to get you by my side, and I'm not letting you go now." He gently stroked his hand over the still face, feeling the incredible fever heat that Bones was so worried about. "You belong here now. Do you hear me? You do belong. Don't let this bastard win. Don't let Section 31 win. Fight this." 

There was no response, only increasingly labored breathing. 

Jim raised his head to ask Bones about that, when the man himself appeared next to them as if by magic. "I'm putting him on a respirator just in case," Bones said. "The toxin is affecting his nervous system, depressing his breathing." 

"But he's getting better, right?" Jim asked, feeling like a small child and hating the feeling. "The toxin killed the agent within seconds. If Noonien is still alive now, after all this time, it's got to mean that he's fighting it, right?" 

"Jim..." 

There was a small, distressed sound from Khan; Jim abandoned the rest of his argument and bent his head down to Khan's face, unable to ignore the Augment in distress. The sound repeated, and Jim helplessly responded with one of his own, holding Khan tighter. It seemed like those pained noises reached right in and yanked at Jim's heart. 

"Do you hear that, Bones?" he said, wretchedly. "He's in agony. Can't you at least give him something against the pain? The knock-out drug means that his healing won't neutralize a painkiller, right?" 

"He's unconscious, Jim. He doesn't feel the pain. More chemicals will only make things harder for him." 

"It certainly sounds to me like he's feeling the pain," Jim argued. 

Bones gave him a look. "Jim. I'm telling you, he's not feeling anything. That's what unconscious means - not conscious of anything." 

Jim bit his lips, chagrined. _Maybe I should ask myself if maybe it's really me I want to feel better._  

He looked up when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "If he does get distressed from the pain, I'll give him something to help him. But it's not necessary right now." 

"I got you, Bones. Sorry. This whole thing is just…" 

"I know. Don't worry about it." 

Jim looked up at him and tried to smile. It felt funny on his lips.

 

* * *

 

Leonard McCoy watched Jim trying not to panic. 

By now, it was almost a familiar sight - two sickbay beds pushed together to make a bigger bed, Khan dying on one of them with Jim on the other, as close as he could be, trying to do what he could to keep the Augment by his side. Only this time, if Khan died, it would be permanent. 

And this time, he was not healing, and he was losing ground rapidly. 

Still unconscious, his body was throwing everything it had at the toxin that was killing him. But without his healing to counteract the effect, running a fever at temperatures far beyond what his own body could stand only hastened the end. Leonard had machines in place that were cooling him down, which he supposed was the only reason why Khan was still alive. 

Normally, with augmented healing in place, the fever heat damage would heal as soon as it occurred, leaving the contagion a metaphorical scarred husk within mere minutes and Khan's body unharmed. But now, he was burning up, his body using up all its resources in a desperate race against time, trying to destroy the toxin before his own body was destroyed but destroying itself in the process. 

By now, he was no longer breathing on his own. Leonard was pretty sure that brain damage had already set in, but he was damned if he was telling Jim that. At the rate Khan was deteriorating, he would be dead within the hour, without ever regaining consciousness, so it hardly mattered. 

There would be no final words for either of them. 

Meanwhile, he could hear Jim plead with Khan to stay, that he had a place here, that he was part of a whole, that he would be missed. "Fight this. I know you can fight this. You've overcome everything else. Just one more battle, and then you can rest." Both Jim's hands were framing the Augment's face as if physically trying to hold his life in the here-and-now. "Stay with me, Noonien. Please." 

Yet another alarm joined the growing choir of alarms. 

Leonard approached the bed, injecting more drugs meant to stabilize this and help with that straight into Khan's neck even though he himself had already lost all hope. 

Desperate blue eyes met his in a question Jim did not dare ask. 

Leonard bit his lip and shook his head. 

"No," Jim choked out. "God, no. He's supposed to be the one that stays with me, Bones. He can't die. He can't." He leaned down, touching his forehead to Khan's, his hands still holding the slack face, thumbs stroking the taught cheekbones. "I'm not letting you go. You hear me? You don't have permission to go. There's still things to do, peoples to be led to peace... Don't do this. You matter. You matter to me. Fight. Fight this!" 

Leonard had to turn his back on them at this point. He knew that he would never, ever, if he lived to be a hundred, forgive himself for not having destroyed the damned drug that had brought Khan to this. He normally wasn't one for seeking the blame, but in this case, he knew that this whole situation was his fault, and his fault alone. Khan would die. Jim would be bereft, would maybe never recover, after finally allowing someone to get close to his heart. And it was Leonard's fault. 

 _I might as well have killed him myself_. 

Another alarm went off. Leonard knew that one. That was the bad one. _Jim, I'm so sorry._  

"Bones!" 

 _Oh God._  

He turned around, meeting impossibly blue eyes begging him for a miracle. "His heart has stopped." 

There were no more miracles. "I know." 

"Bones, please!" 

He shook his head again, feeling his eyes fill. Even if he managed to revive Khan, with this much fever heat and oxygen deprivation in the brain, all they would bring back would be a vegetable. But he wasn't going to tell Jim that. "Too much damage. I can re-start his heart, but it'd only stop again. We've got to let him go." 

Jim looked at him, then he made a sound that Leonard hoped he'd never have to hear again and buried his face in Khan's chest, shoulders heaving. "No. No. Nonono. Noooo." 

Leonard allowed his own tears to fall. He had never hated himself as much as he did in that moment. "I'm sorry, Jim," he forced out, knowing words would never be enough. 

Jim looked up, his face ravaged by grief and rage. "I don't want to hear that! This wasn't supposed to happen! You could bring me back, why can't you -..." He broke off, face brightening with desperate hope. 

Leonard stared at him, struck by the same thought. Then he ran. 

The serum made from Khan's blood should still be active. They should have enough. It should work. If it worked in time, it would reverse the damage. All the damage. 

He reached the cabinet holding the precious cylinders, and there they were - five little seeds of life. 

 _Okay, Leonard H. Deep breath. Think this through. You've got five shots at this. Don't waste even one of them because you didn't fucking think._  

They had the knock-out drug and the toxin to deal with. Without the knock-out drug in the equation, the toxin wouldn't be a problem. Khan's healing would take care of it easily, and of all other damage as well. But if Leonard used the serum now, the knock-out drug would neutralize it as soon as Leonard injected it. So, he had to wait for the knock-out drug to degrade sufficiently before injecting the serum to start the healing. 

However, there was another factor - Khan was dead. Truly dead. Decomposition was only minutes away. This would mean more damage to heal. The longer they waited for the knock-out drug to decay, the more Khan's body, too, would decay. 

Knife's edge, again. There would be an ideal moment when the knock-out drug was sufficiently decayed and Khan's body still as intact as it could be. The trick would be to catch that moment. But there were some things he could do to tip the scales in Khan's favor.

 

* * *

 

Jim watched as Bones did medical things to Khan, putting him in a tank filled with a warm, mysterious fluid, setting up all sorts of machines that did things to his blood, keeping it from coagulating, apparently, and screening out all sorts of substances that were forming in his body. All the while, Bones was peering at his monitors, muttering about concentrations of whatever whatnots were so crucial to monitor. 

Jim, meanwhile, did the only thing he could do - stay out of the way. He felt numb, and sick. He wanted to run away from all this and get drunk so he could forget, and he wanted to be closer to Khan and reach in and somehow help him live again. Instead, he sat on a chair and watched Bones, trying not to fidget. 

 _If you pull this off, Bones, I swear I'll eat whatever you tell me to eat or not to eat, I'll keep to my exercise regimen, I'll never make you do things you don't want to do, I'll give you all the Southern Comfort you want, and I'll never ask for anything else from you ever again._  

He didn't ask what they were waiting for. Bones clearly knew what he was doing, and he didn't need to be distracted by Jim's insecurity, by his childish need to have everything that was happening to Khan explained to him. Jim could be patient, if it would only bring him Khan back in the end. 

Finally, Bones seemed to be finished doing medical things and turned to his monitors with an air of expectation. 

Jim couldn't stand it anymore. "Bones, what's going on? Aren't you going to give him the serum?" 

"Now would be too soon," Bones said. "The knock-out drug would eat it. I'm trying to filter most of it out first. We're almost there, though." 

"What can I do?" Jim asked eagerly. 

"Right now? Nothing. Hope. Pray, if you're so inclined." 

Jim nodded, resigned. "Yeah, okay. And later?" 

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," Bones cautioned. 

But Jim was having none of it. it was time for optimism. "Bones." 

McCoy sighed. "When - if - this works, he won't just heal and be okay again two hours later. This time, it'll be touch and go for a long time. He'll need intensive care. You remember how you felt when you came back, right?" 

Jim smiled ruefully. "I prefer not to." 

"Also, we don't know what his state of mind will be. Then I'll need you here, to talk him down when he gets impatient, or depressive, or aggressive, or whichever way he'll jump. Someone he trusted tried to kill him, after all." 

 _Someone he trusted did kill him,_ Jim thought darkly. _Just when he thought he was finally safe to relax his guard._  

They waited. Jim carefully kept his mind blank except for positive thoughts. It would work. It had to. It would. Khan's blood had brought back Jim, whose whole body was practically immolated by radiation. It would certainly bring back Khan after less extensive damage. 

Finally, there was a beep. Bones looked at one of his monitors. "All right. Showtime." 

He got up, armed with a hypo, and moved to stand over Khan in his fluid tank. Injecting the hypo straight into the Augment's heart, he produced a second one and used that on Khan's neck. That done, he stepped back. "Now we wait." 

For at least five long minutes, nothing happened. The moving lines and diagrams on the monitors remained unchanged. Jim felt like crawling up the wall, and it took an immense effort not to chew his nails. 

Then, just when Bones looked like he was getting fidgety, one of the diagrams began to change. McCoy stared at it as if he were a snake hypnotizing a mouse. 

When nothing else happened, Jim ventured a a soft, "Bones…?" 

"Could be something. Could be nothing. Just wait." 

Jim wanted to scream. He didn't, but it was a near thing. 

The lines McCoy was watching were definitely changing, though. And just when Jim considered asking him what it meant, there was a very familiar, single beep. Followed by another one. And another. 

A heartbeat. 

"Yes!" McCoy said. "Good! Keep it up!" 

And then, all the lines and diagrams on the monitors slowly changed in the most beautiful ballet of life signs either of them had ever seen. 

Jim found it physically impossible to stay in his seat. He got up, approaching the tank to look down on Khan's serene, pale face. He wanted to reach in and take the Augment's hand, establish contact of some sort, let him know he wasn't alone, but he didn't dare for fear of upsetting the delicate balance of life and death that was at last tipping in Khan's favor before him. 

"We seem to have hit on a good time to inject the serum. It's canceling out the effects of the knock-out drug. Heart beat is steady. It's amazing. He can begin to heal now." McCoy peered at his monitors, then walked to the tank and pressed a button. "Draining the tank now and disconnecting clearance lines." 

Another burst of activity was displayed on a monitor that had remained dark until now. McCoy smiled in relief. "Brain activity! Let's see… Yes, he's breathing on his own. Let's give him a little while to stabilize, then we can transfer him back to his bed." 

Jim looked at the Augment's face, still too pale, but no longer grey with death. He felt elated. Bones would caution him against premature triumph, but he couldn't help himself. Khan was going to be okay. 

They had cheated death once more.

 


	3. Chapter 3

An hour later, Khan was looking less like an autopsy subject and more like a patient again. Still deeply unconscious, he was hooked up to machines that were feeding him the nutrients he needed to heal the extensive damage that high fever and beginning decomposition had caused in his body, not to mention the toxin that had ultimately caused his death.

Jim had only listened with half an ear when Bones explained all that. What mattered to him was that Khan lived, that he would recover.

But this time, it wasn't going to be quite so easy, or quick. He didn't need Bones telling him that. All he needed to know was that Bones really was throwing everything he could think of at his patient; not just school medicine, but also the human factor. Because this time, Jim Kirk was part of the therapy.

"I'll need you to stay with him until we can be sure which way he'll jump," Bones had explained. "He trusts you. By now, I think even his subconscious trusts you. But you're the only one, Jim. His mind trusts the rest of us, but I'm not so sure about his instincts. His instincts, though, are what we need to work with us during this."

Jim had nodded. "So, what do you want me to do?"

"What do you do when you're together?" Bones had asked. "And no, I'm not talking about the athletics in bed. Just, you know, being together. Do you talk to him? Sing to him? Anything like that? Whatever it is, listening to music, or just cuddling, do it now. Give him some familiarity. Let him know it's safe to come back. His last memory is of being in a room with a murderer. We don't want him to still be in that mindset and come up swinging."

Well, singing would definitely not be involved - although Jim would do even that if he thought it would help. He didn't know for sure if Khan really felt safe in Jim's bed; all told, they had only spent a relatively short time in it. But if there should be no place of safety for Khan in his bed or in his arms, and if this was about recreating a haven for Khan to be relaxed and at peace in, then he supposed they were doomed. No childhood memories of parental love and warmth to fall back on for someone who had grown up in a lab. And even during the height of Khan's power, there had always been the threat of war hanging over him. For almost all of his life, he had never known real safety.

But Bones was right. Their time together really was the only thing Jim had to go with, and frankly, he did believe that Khan felt safe in Jim's presence. That had been the one constant throughout, as strange as it sounded, considering their early history.

So, what did they do when they didn't have sex? Falling asleep and waking up in each other's arms. Talk and cuddle. Khan's philosophical streams of consciousness, Jim's occasional - okay, more than occasional - descents into silliness that Khan usually suffered with tolerant amusement.

It all came down to touching, and to talking. He was already touching, so, Jim talked. He supposed it didn't matter what he talked about, so he said whatever came to mind.

And, of course, Jim had long since realized that his sense of smell was important to Khan; being able to pick up Jim's scent seemed almost as important as hearing his voice, possibly even more important. Which was why Jim remained as close to the stricken Augment as he could, lying next to him, both arms threaded under and around him, his own face close the Khan's.

As the hours passed in that dimly lit room, his voice grew hoarse, but he didn't stop. From time to time, McCoy joined him, giving him updates on brain activity, on inflammation factors, on autonomous nervous functions.

Jim listened distractedly; most of his attention was on Khan, his breathing, the minute twitching of his limbs. He couldn't tell if there was any improvement; all he knew was that unconscious Khan was vastly different from sleeping Khan. For one thing, sleeping Khan would not stay asleep with all that activity going on around him.

And even this kind of unconsciousness was different than the other times Jim had seen the Augment out of it. This time, there was no movement, no sound, nothing. He was just one step up from dead.

"This is taking too long," Bones muttered after what felt like an untold number of hours had passed. "We need to get his brain back on line. If he won't come to on his own, we've got to risk waking him."

Jim looked at him unhappily. The idea of forcing Khan to consciousness instead of letting him come to naturally didn't sit well with him. But Bones clearly was the expert here, so Jim said nothing. Besides, he was getting worried, too. Khan had been too still for too long.

He watched McCoy prepare a hypo and inject its contents into Khan's chest. With his arms around him, Jim could feel the body he held tense slightly as the injection took, and he tried to soothe Khan by resuming his slow stroking of the Augment's forehead. "That was just Bones giving you something to wake you up. Really, any time you feel like opening your eyes and letting us know you're okay."

Apart from that slight increase of tension, there seemed to be no other reaction, and yet, Jim felt like something was different. He couldn't quite put his finger on it. Maybe it was some subtle change in the rhythm of Khan's breathing.

"Anything?" Bones asked, apparently seeing something in Jim's expression.

Jim shook his head, frustrated. "I'm not sure, Bones."

"Hmm. Let me check pupil reflexes." Leaning over Khan's face, McCoy peeled back an eyelid, about to shine a pen light into the eye.

The next thing Jim knew, McCoy gave a yelp and was flying backwards; Jim felt a punch against his chest that took his breath away and threw him right off the bed. Then, Khan was a roaring wild thing flinging himself off the medbed and towards Jim, who was closest. While Jim was still trying to get his bearings and his breath back, two strong hands clasped his head; he had a confused impression of Khan's rage-filled face close to his and a feeling of building pressure in his head.

Maybe it was the fact that Khan was noticeably uncoordinated and only had a fraction of his full strength; in any case, Jim didn't die. He had time for some last words. "Noonien," he forced out, "It's me, Jim. I'm not your enemy. Please don't kill me!"

For one terrible moment, the pressure didn't lessen; Khan was glaring at him without recognition, and Jim was almost certain that this was it. He wasn't going to fight. That was the one thing he knew; if he fought Khan now, he would certainly get his head crushed.

Abruptly, the pressure against his head was gone, and he was enveloped in the same arms that had tried to kill him. He fell forward, held by Khan who was collapsing backwards, giving a sound of abject despair.

"Jim," Khan groaned, barely intelligible, "Jim…." He sounded like he was about to cry.

So. Jim was not going to die. This realization lodged in his mind, he hugged Khan close. "It's okay, I'm fine, you didn't hurt me. It's all right."

Khan was still muttering Jim's name, clinging to him, losing strength rapidly, panting with exertion, muscles going slack.

Behind them, Bones picked himself up, shaking his head as if to ward off dizziness. "Help me get him back on the bed," he said, coming closer.

"I'll do it," Jim said quickly. "Stay back, Bones. I'm not sure if he'll recognize you." Lurching to his feet with Khan clinging to him -  _he's heavier than he looks!_ \- Jim managed to wrestle the increasingly limp Augment back onto the medbed, following him onto the soft mattress and going back to hugging him.

As soon as he was lying down, Jim could feel himself starting to shake with delayed reaction.  _He almost killed me._ He took a deep breath, forcing himself to stay calm.  _He didn't. Even now, even when he didn't recognize me for a second, he didn't._

They lay like that for a few minutes, Jim mumbling reassurances that he was okay and Khan slowly coming down from the shock of almost having killed Jim while Bones moved back and forth, setting up monitors.

"Jim," Khan finally slurred, and Jim raised his head to look at him. "What..." He trailed off, blinking in confusion.

"Don't try to talk," Jim admonished him gently. "You've been dead for hours. Someone poisoned you. You'll be feeling funny for a while because of all that. Just relax and heal."

Khan looked at him, frowning, still blinking slowly, before turning his face away and making a sound of agony that tore at Jim's insides.  _And now he's awake to feel it, nothing we could give him against the pain would work. Talk about sucky timing._

He laid a hand on the side of the Augment's face, trying to calm him, to let him know he wasn't alone.

Khan shuddered, and with another pained noise, he put both hands on Jim's and grabbed it, held it close to his face, turning onto his side and curling up, still clutching Jim's hand.

Moving in close, Jim spooned him, stroking his hair with his free hand, gladly letting him have his other hand that Khan was still holding against his face. Jim could feel his breaths against his palm as the Augment fought pain and confusion, trying to draw comfort from the smell of Jim's skin.

"Jim..." Khan's hoarse voice came, his breath a puff against Jim's palm. "Where... the man..." He broke off, interrupted by a bout of weak coughing.

"The man who attacked you?" Jim said softly, running his free hand over Khan's arms to make sure the infusions were still in place. "He's dead. He's dead, Noonien."

"Dead..." Khan repeated on an exhale. "Did you...?"

"No, it wasn't me. He killed himself." He listened to Khan's labored breaths, remembered how close it had been. "But I was tempted. There was a moment..."

"Killed himself?" Khan's voice still sounded slurred.

Worried, Jim threw a look at Bones, who was also frowning and biting his lip.  _Keep him talking_ , McCoy mouthed.

"Yeah," Jim said, stroking Khan's forehead and capturing his glance. "He poisoned himself. Can you tell me what happened in your quarters?"

Khan focused on Jim with obvious difficulty, frowning. "Can't.... Don't...." He growled in frustration. Where they were touching, Jim could feel him tense up and his breathing accelerate.

Immediately, Jim soothed him. "It's okay, don't worry about it." Looking up, he met McCoy's eyes and mouthed, _What the hell?_

Bones merely shook his head, mouthing  _later_ .

Meanwhile, Khan was frowning fiercely, clearly unhappy with whatever it was that was wrong with him. He looked at Jim, scowl still in place, and shook his head wordlessly.

Jim hesitated, wondering whether that was a demand to leave him alone, and he felt a pang in his chest. If Khan really wanted him gone, he would leave, even though every instinct he possessed screamed at him to stay close.

But before he could say anything, Khan gripped Jim's hand tighter, pulled it back to his face, and closed his eyes, still clinging to Jim's hand.

Bones was hovering, looking unhappy, but finally nodded and patted Jim's shoulder. Mouthing  _I'm gonna go check on something_ , he turned and walked to his office.

Khan's eyes opened as soon as McCoy was gone, and he turned his face back to Jim. "Jim," he said slowly, "Jim."

"I'm here."

"What... is wrong... with me?" There was so much confusion in his voice and in his expression that Jim felt compelled to run his hand over the dark hair in an effort to soothe him.

Jim absolutely refused to jump to the obvious conclusion, even in his own mind, before Bones gave his verdict. Besides, he wasn't going to make himself panic when Khan so clearly needed him for reassurance.

Needed him for reassurance. Khan. This whole thing was so wrong, so incongruous. Khan had no business needing reassurance. He was supposed to be the fearless one. He had been made to be fearless, to be the one giving reassurance.

And yet, here they were. Khan's pale, blue-green eyes were looking to Jim for answers. _Hard to imagine that, only a year ago, I thought he was this unscrupulous mass murderer. How could I ever have thought, even for a minute, that he doesn't suffer when he's hurt, like any human being?_

"You were dead for a long time," Jim finally said, wondering how bad the damage was, and if Khan even understood what he said. "Things are probably still a bit messed up. Just give it time. You'll heal."

This didn't seem to be enough for the Augment. His scowl turned furious. "What. Is. Wrong?" he repeated, more forcefully, eyes blazing. Demanding.

Strangely, Jim felt more comfortable with this Khan. Angry Khan he knew. Angry Khan could conquer anything, even his own fear. "I don't know," he said, with total honesty. His own assumption was just that, after all - an assumption. "We've got to ask Bones. Leonard," he added, in case the nickname was too confusing for Khan in his current state.

"Ask him," Khan growled, closing his eyes in what looked like exhaustion, his scowl smoothing out until just a tiny frown remained.

Oh yes, this Khan he could deal with. Jim fondly stroked the tip of his index finger over the crinkle on the bridge of the Augment's nose. "Yes, my prince."

 

* * *

 

Leonard found himself confronted with a not-quite-but-nearly frantic Jim demanding answers.

This time, fortunately, he even had some. "Anoxia," he said succinctly, pointing at the monitor he was using for Khan, which showed an electronic real-time representation of the Augment's brain. Several darkened spots indicated the source of Leonard's worry.

At Jim's confused look, he added, "No oxygen to the brain. Brain cells will die within minutes. Happened while he was dead, despite my best efforts." He indicated the dark spots on the brain depicted on the monitor. "A number of areas are affected, most of them in his frontal and parietal lobes. It's a miracle he can even string two words together, let alone pronounce them intelligibly. If he were purely human, he wouldn't be able to speak, or even to move. The computer thinks his brain was augmented to be de-centralized, so unaffected areas can take over in case of damage. That gels with the information he gave me a while ago on Augments and how their bodies tick. Damned lucky, too, because otherwise...."

Jim was looking at him with familiar stubborn hope in his blue eyes. "Will it heal?"

"It should. We can heal that kind of damage even in normal humans, but it takes time, patience, and therapy. How long will it take him? No clue, as usual. Could be anything between hours and weeks."

Jim nodded. "What do I do? He's been asking me what's wrong with him. Should I tell him he's… brain-damaged?"

_You're asking me?_ Leonard thought.  _You're our resident Khan expert, Jim. Poor guy, must really be rattled._ "You know him better than I do, Jim. What do you think, would he appreciate the facts, or would he prefer sugar-coating?"

"Normally? Facts. Now? He's confused, Bones, and it pisses him off. I feel like it's a bad idea telling him how bad it really is. But I don't want to lie to him, either."

As Jim said this, Leonard watched him peer through the observation window towards the bed occupied by their charge, again demonstrating mother hen tendencies nobody would have suspected he had, before Khan.  _Maybe now you'll understand us better when we're worried about you, Jim,_ Leonard thought at him.

Whatever Jim was seeing apparently reassured him, because he turned his full attention back to Leonard. "I'll just play it by ear," he answered his own question. "When can he get out of here?"

And this was where Leonard was out of answers. "When I say so," he returned, tersely. "I'm not making any predictions about his crazy biology anymore."

Jim looked at him. Then he reached out a hand an patted Leonard's shoulder. "Nobody's blaming you, you know," he said gently, with that intuitive understanding of people and situations he had that made him such an exceptional captain. "That Section 31 guy would have found something else to use on Khan even if you had destroyed the drug."

Leonard grimaced. He hated being transparent. "Maybe. Maybe not. But thanks, anyway." He forced a smile. It would be a long time before he forgave himself. Nodding towards the intensive care area, he added, "Better get back to him before he starts going on a rampage."

Jim returned the smile, nodded, and left.

 

* * *

 

Khan's eyes opened as soon as he heard Jim leave Bones' office, finding Jim after a brief moment of confused blinking. He didn't say anything, but Jim could see his relief in his face.

Joining him on the bed, Jim bent over him. "How are you feeling?"

Face tight, Khan looked at Jim wordlessly, and finally shook his head.

It was not lost on Jim that Khan was trying to avoid speaking, and he empathized. It had to be embarassing, having his faculties impaired like this, especially for someone who defined himself by his inherent superiority. "It's okay," Jim said gently. "Bones said you'll heal. Just give yourself time."

At that, Khan's closed off look changed to one of entreaty. "What...?"

So. Jim had known he wouldn't be spared having to tell him. Unable to keep himself from doing so, Jim framed the Augment's face with his hands, feeling the warm skin, the brush of the soft hair at Khan's temples against his fingertips. "Your brain was without oxygen for too long, apparently."

At least, Khan seemed to understand him and the implications of what he had said, because he frowned and said, "How long... till it heals?"

"Bones doesn't know," Jim had to admit.

From this close, Jim could see the expression in Khan's eyes change. He looked at the door to McCoy's office, at the infusion terminal on his arm, and back at Jim, and Jim knew what he was going to say before he said it. "Get me out of here."

Jim was aware how Khan felt; of course he did. With Khan's history, medical and laboratory environments were not places he could possibly feel safe in. But Jim also respected Bones' professional knowledge. Besides, it had been so close. He had been so scared for Khan's life. He wanted, no, he needed to know that Bones would be here at the first sign of trouble at least for a little while longer.

And another thing. They couldn't be absolutely certain that Ensign Jones had been the only Section 31 agent on board, and Jim much preferred having Khan in an area that could be monitored until they had made sure that the danger had passed.

He stroked the tousled black hair, keeping those thoughts to himself. "I will, soon. When you're a little better."

Khan clearly didn't like this, but before he could hunt down the words to say so, he winced and tensed up, making a small sound of pain in the back of this throat.

Immediately, Jim soothed him, stroking the frown between Khan's black brows, again feeling the heat of the pale skin under his fingertips. Was he running a fever? "Just relax and try to sleep. I'll be right here the whole time."

Khan's eyes had closed under the gentle touch. Now, he opened them again to glare at Jim. "No coddling," he growled.

"Absolutely no coddling, no," Jim readily agreed, resuming his caresses, watching the way the Augment shifted fitfully, clearly still in pain. "I'm actually under medical orders to be here."

That earned him a searching glance. "Jim...?"

"I'm okay," Jim hastened to reassure him. Then he realized his opportunity. "Just a little tired. In fact, I've been strongly advised to get some shut-eye as well." With that, he snuggled in next to Khan, touching him all along the length of his body, one arm across the Augment's chest.

A bit to his surprise, the ploy worked. Lured by the warmth of the body close to his, by the familiar smell of one he trusted, Khan closed his eyes, relaxed and finally turned his face towards Jim.

By now, Jim knew what Khan needed without having to be told. Shifting, he arranged them both until Khan could lie with his face against Jim's neck, Jim half draped over him, supporting himself on his arms to avoid impeding the Augment's breathing. Jim wasn't going to go to sleep like this, but then, this wasn't about him. He could stand being a little uncomfortable, and Khan needed him like this to feel safe, or he wouldn't even keep his eyes closed long enough for sleep to take him.

Not after someone had just tried to kill him.

Jim held him, his thumbs slowly stroking what skin they were touching, keeping his own breathing slow and steady, signalling calm and safety.  _I'm here_ , he silently said with every inhale and exhale.  _I'm guarding you. Trust me to take care of you_ . Finally, he rested his forehead on Khan's shoulder to ease the strain in his neck.

At long last, he felt the last bit of tension in Khan's body ebb away, heard his breathing even out.

_Sleep. Rest. Heal._

It was his last thought before he, too, fell asleep.

 

* * *

 

A hand on his shoulder startled Jim out of a confused dream. Jerking upright, he found it was only Bones, not some nebulous attacker.

Next thing he knew, Khan ceased being a warm, heavy weight in his arms and turned into a roaring explosion of limbs that threw itself at McCoy, who, with a yelp of surprise, toppled backwards with Khan on top of him, snarling.

"Khan, don't!" Jim yelled down at them from up on the medbed. "It's only Bones!"

Khan froze, staring, teeth bared, down at the man he had pinned underneath him. Then he released him and sat back, clearing his throat. "Apologies."

McCoy groaned. "Jesus H. Christ, you almost broke my neck."

Crisis averted, it seemed. "Well," Jim interjected from his perch on the bed, "looks like you're feeling better, Noonien."

"I'll say," Bones agreed, putting a hand on the back of his head. "Impressive feat of coordination, that."

"I apologize," Khan repeated, scowling.

Bones waved that away. "No, it's okay, it was my fault. Should've known better than to startle Jim. You thought I was attacking him, right?"

"I wasn't thinking at all," Khan replied, enunciating each word slowly and carefully, but, Jim was glad to notice, without the halting pauses that had plagued his speech before. "I merely reacted. But, yes, I perceived a threat."

"Yeah, sorry. I'm still not used to harboring killing machines in my sickbay." Rubbing the back of his head and twisting his neck gingerly, Bones levered himself to his feet.

Khan, too, rose up from the floor. To Jim's eyes, he moved deliberately, clearly not trusting his body entirely yet, but blessedly upright and alert. Certainly not looking like a man in further need of intensive care.

Bones seemed to be thinking the same. Stepping up to Khan, he unhooked the transfusion terminal. "Well. If you're strong enough to nearly kill your kindly country doctor, I suppose you're strong enough to sleep in your own bed." He threw Jim a look. "Or whatever."

Jim smiled. There would probably be no 'whatever', not for a while yet, but Khan certainly wouldn't be sleeping in his own bed, either.

 

* * *

 

_Captain's personal log, Stardate 2260.109._

_It took three days of Khan screening my crew, but at last we're reasonably certain that the ship is clear of Section 31 personnel. That's something._

_Khan has completely recovered. Physically, that is. The mental wounds he sustained when he was attacked by one he considered a part of his family will take much longer to heal. It's subtle, but I've noticed that he's gone back to being more wary around my crew again. That damned agent has made him lose most of the ground he's gained during the past months, and I can only hope that this damage is not irreparable._

_On an even more personal note, my fond plans of using restraints on him in bed are so far on the back burner that they may never see daylight again._

_But that's not important, except on the most shallow level. What is important is that he's still alive. I've got to keep telling myself that. He's alive. It was so close. When I thought he was dead, for good this time, there was a moment when I could feel my world collapse in on itself. It scared me. I don't, ever, want to experience that again._

_I've never needed anyone so much like I need him._

_Love, they say, is giving hostages to fortune. From what I've learned, that's certainly true in my case. But all I can do is take care of him. And of myself, I suppose. We've got to take care of one another. Bones seems to think that losing me would send Khan over the edge, and I believe it. He's close enough to it as it is._

_Well, one good thing has come out of all of this. I'm hitting the gym regularly. I haven't forgotten the silent vow I made when Khan's life was in the balance. Bones is puzzled but pleased. Khan has gained a workout buddy. I'm gaining bruises, but I'm learning things about hand-to-hand that would make my phys ed instructor at the Academy green with envy. Who knows when I'm gonna need it._

_We're going to be okay._

 

* * *

 

The End.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading! I hope you like it, even though this one is a little shorter than the other parts.
> 
> I'm still not out of ideas, so there may be more.


End file.
